Friendship

A friend who is far away is sometimes much nearer than one who is at hand. Is not the mountain far more awe-inspiring and more clearly visible to one passing through the valley than to those who inhabit the mountain?"-Kahlil Gibran

Thoughts
The Internet through email, Facebook, Skype allows us to form new friendships and reconnect to old friends. We must remember that friendship is about mutual respect and caring. Friendships can be compromised and damaged by forming emotional attachments that go beyond simple friendship. Even though this risk clearly exists - there is great value via the Internet to create communities that allow us to feel part of something, to allow us to feel we are not alone in the world. On balance all technological innovations come with both positive and negative consequences. I want to focus and commit to the positive benefits. Things are what we make them, by themselves they "are only what they are".

I am reminded of Robert Frost's great poem "Mending Wall" - which we usually shorten to "Good fences make good neighbors". But that is far too simple an interpretation, leaving aside any likely Freudian subtexts, the poem questions this simple truth and asks us to go further and asks us to examine our actions.

Before I built a wall I'd ask to know
What I was walling in or walling out,
And to whom I was like to give offence.

Friendships are complex things, they require care and feeding, patience and understanding. But true friendships are great rewards for a life well lived.

Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity. -Kahlil Gibran

My closest friend wrote this for me many, many years ago:

Our dreams-- those flowers--
where have they gone?
It's been a long time passing
and those flowers--our dreams--
have lost their petals one by one.

I remember you gently caressing
the petal that held the hope of
being with me every night.

We carefully planed our dreams--
two cautious gardeners pressing dirt
gently around the seeds of our love.
The seeds grew.
But it has been a long time passing
Since we watered them together.

I remember you planting the seed
of hope for having many lively and
beautiful children with me.

Our dreams-- those flowers--
Where have they gone? Why did
the petals drop one by one?
Are the roots of those dreams
just buried-- can we grow them again?
Or has the whole plant died?

To which I responded by action and now try to capture in words:

The plow and scythe that were a big part of me are
finally abandoned, left to rust,
so that the garden can be allowed to grow without disruption.

This plant, tattered, weather worn, and
with the strength of an oak, survives on 'til this day.

This, despite the gardener's occasional neglect,
droughts, and long winters.

For this I shall be forever grateful.

Spring seems always within our grasp.

So fortunate am I to have my closest friend so close to me. I truly wish all my friends may experience the same bounty that can come from tending to and growing a close relationship.-p.a. 2010-01-17

More Kahlil Gibran Quotes